Lost Soul
by Scotty1994
Summary: Buffy is living in Rome but news from Andrew about his trip to L.A. turns her life upside down.


**I do not own any of the characters, all rights to the fabulous Joss Whedon.**

**Chapter 1**

Andrew was scared of his visit to Rome. Normally he looked forward to it. Whenever he made it to the beautiful city he was welcomed to a great choice of pizzas and then there was also the visits to the original slayer and her younger sister.

While he always admired Buffy and was grateful to her for letting him live, he truly looked forward to seeing Dawn.

The ex-key whose bravery and brutal honesty had won over the young geek's heart. He had discovered they had common interest in the _science fiction_ world when he was tied to a chair in her bedroom.

It had been over a year since then. Over a year since he turned his back on the dark side and turned down its lure. Very much like Frodo the will to destroy the ring, Andrew turned down the First.

And it had been six months since Spike had died in the final battle in the Sunnydale Hell mouth. At least everyone thoughts he was dead, a recent trip to L.A. proved otherwise.

Now here Andrew was, in Rome, with a secret about Buffy's lost love being alive on the other side of the world. His first instinct was to tell Buffy but Spike warned him otherwise leaving him with a big secret that is to never leave his lips. Spike and he were like brothers now, Andrew was his confidant. And no matter how much Buffy questioned him she won't be able to pull a single word from his mouth.

"So what do you know?"

"I don't know anything!" Andrew froze glancing down at the two sisters.

Buffy and Dawn sat next to each other on their leather lounge, both giving him bewilder looks. "You don't know anything about your trip to L.A.?" Buffy narrowed her eyes at him obviously suspicious of his behaviour.

Andrew laughed nervously to himself shuffling around the room before leaning against their television, which looked like it was used as a clothes rack than anything else. "Oh that. Yes, yes I do know that." Andrew rambled taking in deep breaths. "Yes, the slayer had escaped from a hospital and I joined with Angel's team to locate her. She is now in England with Mr Giles and that's all that happened." _Except for seeing Spike._ He thought to himself.

Buffy put down her fresh cup of coffee down on the table in front of them, giving him a questioning look but decided to let it slide, "Ok then."

"Hospital?" Dawn perked up placing her textbook in front of her, "Was she injured?"

"No, only insane and very strong." He winced rubbing at the bruises on the side of his head.

"Did she hurt anyone?"

"Dawn, homework." Buffy warned receiving an eye roll from said teen.

"If you are going to talk about slayer stuff in front of me expect me to join." Dawn defended leaning back away from the book. Buffy huffed in response nodding at Andrew to continue.

Andrew shifted his weight, "Well I went a couple of rounds with her but she got lucky and got the drop on me."

"She got lucky." Dawn snorted.

"It was all dark and stuff."

"Of course."

Buffy smiled as well grabbing up her coffee, "Well as long as no one got seriously hurt, right?" She waited for Andrew's confirmation.

"Umm right." He paused a nervous smile pulling at his lips.

Buffy quirked her head to the side making him fidget more under her intense stare. The way he was acting told Buffy that he was hiding something. She knew he still feared her and if he doesn't talk soon she will use that against him. Buffy glanced at her sister, she seemed to also notice Andrew's behaviour.

"Ok story boy, tell me what you know." Buffy stood up in front of him, with her heels on she managed to gain an inch of height over him. The slight widening of his eyes told her that this simple try at intimidation was working.

"Tell us what you know, or we will use force." Dawn added, taking stance next to Buffy. She easily reached the same height Buffy was with bare feet.

"I have nothing else to I don't know what you are talking about." Andrew backed away from the two.

Buffy grabbed his shirt collar so he couldn't keep get further away, "Andrew tell me what you know. I haven't had to beat someone into talking for a while but I don't mind starting again with you." She threaten pulling up her fist.

"Your ways of persuading are useless against me, I don't fear you!" Dawn flicked him in the forehead making him yelp. "I'm not supposed to tell you, if I do he is going to kill me and he said so, along with a very detailed description of how. I like my windpipe where it is!"

"And if you don't tell me I will do worse."

"Spike!" Andrew crumbled throwing his hand up in defeat, "It's about Spike."

Buffy dropped Andrew as if his clothing had burnt her hand, of all the things she had expected him to say, that was the last thing.

"Spike?" her sister whispered next to her.

The slayer had to take a breath to compose herself, she hadn't allowed herself to think of the vampire for months now and with just the mention of his name everything comes flying back. "What about Spike?" she finally managed to ask.

Andrew was still on the ground trying to fix his collar, "Why does everyone have to use violence? I thought we moved pass this when I stopped being evil."

"Andrew!" stopping his rant and looking at the slayer, "What about Spike?" she spoke slowly.

"He's alive, in L.A. I don't know for how long but he is working there with Angel, Spike was the one that managed to find the slayer." Andrew looked up to gauge their reactions. Dawn stood frozen with her mouth gaped open in disbelief.

Andrew had expected Buffy to either start cry or accuse him of lying and take her anger out on him. But instead she had turned from both him and her sister and disappeared down the hallway.

Dawn and Andrew had moved back to the couch, sitting next to one another but not speaking.

She stared down at the cold cup of coffee that Buffy had been drinking. It had been half an hour since Andrew told them that Spike was back.

Dawn's first reaction was to laugh and then anger towards Andrew for telling such a lie. But after realising it was the truth it sunk in and now she was just processing it.

She kept turning to Andrew to demand answers but whenever she opened her mouth she unable to form a question. So much was running through her mind.

She finally turned to Andrew, decided on one question that kept crossing her mind, "Why didn't he want us to know?"

Andrew was caught off guard by her question even unsure as to how to answer. Sure he had asked Spike that same question, but he never really got much of a response. Spike had told him that he didn't know how to tell them but Andrew wasn't sure if that was there was to it. All he could do was shrug.

That wasn't what Dawn was wanting in response but any response would be unwanted. It will all sound like an excuse from any who wasn't Spike.

She was left again to her thoughts running rampant.

She guessed Buffy was is the same state, all questions going through her mind but always coming back to the same three words. Spike is alive.

_Spike is alive… _

_Spike's alive… _

_William the blooded had returned from hell… _

_The man I love is alive…_

… _He is alive never told me._

No matter how she phrased it, it always came back to the one fact. He never told Buffy.

And the idea of him staying in L.A. to work with Angel confused her even more. They hated each other, Spike got jealous whenever she would mention Angel's name and now here he is working with him.

How was Spike even alive? She had to leave him at the bottom of a crater that used to be her home town. Had he managed to escape and just didn't want to be around her anymore.

Had him believing she didn't love him been enough pain for her. Now he doesn't seem to even love her even after his speech of her being the one. Buffy forced herself to sit down, pacing back and forth was only making her exhausted and more worked up.

Her emotion blew into overdrive when Andrew told her. She had to escape from the conversation, as if leaving made it not happen. As soon as she reached her room her wall started to crumble. The wall she had built up to separate herself from her feelings for the vampire. When she wasn't missing him she could continue on acting like normal Buffy. And everyone had believed she had moved on, everyone except for Dawn.

Though sometimes she wondered if her friends had just been so willing to move on they pretended that Buffy's act was real. That they couldn't see those moments where her composure cracked. Those moments when she saw something that reminded her of him, heard something that she knew he would laugh at.

Buffy looked up at herself in the wall mirror. Tear tracks ran down her face, smudging what little make-up she wore. Buffy had never truly realised how much she had loved Spike until she was on the bus driving away from Sunnydale. And once again she is realising her feelings for him.

She needed to make a choice now, she could go back out there and continue on pretending she is fine. Or she could go find the man who has been plaguing her dreams and thoughts. The one who was going to receive all of her frustration if he truly is back.

Dawn jumped from the couch when her sisters form appeared in the lounge room again, prepared offering whatever comfort she could. Taking in her appearance she could tell Buffy had been crying despite her efforts of hiding it. Buffy squeezed Dawn's hand and gave a weak smile before turning to Andrew. Taking in a long breath before looking up, determination in her eyes. "Looks like we're taking a trip to L.A."

**Ok so hello there my fellow Buffy fans.  
Obviously I'm not following any of the plot from the comics of Buffy (they are great BTW) and continuing off what we know from season 5 of Angel.  
I haven't had anyone to proof read this so I am sorry for mistakes to be found.  
Also I am going to wait to get a little bit of feedback before continuing with the next chapters. That being said I am going to aim for an update each week.**

**That's my rant, your reviews feed my confidence :D**

**Scotty.**


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